Comedy Connoisseur T-Shirts

"Sir, your ducks, they are not in a row."

Self-Help Books Families for Lockdown

"How did this case ever get so far?"

"It's Eden. You don't have to keep checking for ticks."

"It's funny how two intelligent people can have such opposite interpretations of the tax code!"

The Gallop

Caution: Fork in road ahead.

'It's worse than I thought: the frog in your throat has a frog in its throat.'

"We can do this the easy way or the Hitchcockian way."

Somewhere in America... the day after "The Mary Tyler Moore Show" came to an end.

"Yep! Should have gone with plan 'B'!"

'Let's see... Ah! Here it is: 'Your policy does not cover floods,earthquakes or axe of god.' Sorry about that, Mr. Finkleman.'

Horse's Feedback.

I only asked you to make a cup of tea, that doesn't need a risk assessment first...

"Look at this: Acupuncture, aromatherapy, herbal tea. We could be dealing with a homoeopathic killer."

"I'm afraid you're retaining lawyers."

The Evolution of Man.

'The nurse tells me you haven't been swallowing your pills.' (Doctor has harpoon).

The Queen

'I'm sorry to disturb you, but new health and safety rules prohibit me from climbing down your chimney.'

'At last Igor finds a body with the appropriate consent form.'

"'Killer Whale' is terrible branding. From now on, people will call you 'Happy Silly Fun Fish.'"

When it hits the fan.

"I don't get it."

'I'm bored. Want to see whose medications have more side effects?'

'So, you have a red nose and get laughed at a lot...that is a good thing.'

"It's about your dog, Mrs Collins. He's snatched the clippers off me and..."

Al the Locksmith.

Santa Claus wanted poster.

'I can understand you getting upset when they make fun of your little arms, but eating your classmates is not the answer.'

'Help's on the way, Billy! For God's sake, keep sucking!'

'That's our most effective weight-loss patch.'

"It gets worse: 'Contains partially hydrogenated oils.'"

'This stuff isn't selling. Maybe we should switch to Viagra.'

'According to my estimation, our anniversary gift is rust.'