Comedy Connoisseur Prints

"Sir, your ducks, they are not in a row."

Self-Help Books Families for Lockdown

"How did this case ever get so far?"

"It's Eden. You don't have to keep checking for ticks."

"It's funny how two intelligent people can have such opposite interpretations of the tax code!"

The Gallop

Caution: Fork in road ahead.

'It's worse than I thought: the frog in your throat has a frog in its throat.'

"Yep! Should have gone with plan 'B'!"

"We can do this the easy way or the Hitchcockian way."

Somewhere in America... the day after "The Mary Tyler Moore Show" came to an end.

'Let's see... Ah! Here it is: 'Your policy does not cover floods,earthquakes or axe of god.' Sorry about that, Mr. Finkleman.'

Horse's Feedback.

I only asked you to make a cup of tea, that doesn't need a risk assessment first...

"Look at this: Acupuncture, aromatherapy, herbal tea. We could be dealing with a homoeopathic killer."

"I'm afraid you're retaining lawyers."

'The nurse tells me you haven't been swallowing your pills.' (Doctor has harpoon).

The Queen

'I'm sorry to disturb you, but new health and safety rules prohibit me from climbing down your chimney.'

"'Killer Whale' is terrible branding. From now on, people will call you 'Happy Silly Fun Fish.'"

'At last Igor finds a body with the appropriate consent form.'

When it hits the fan.

"I don't get it."

'I'm bored. Want to see whose medications have more side effects?'

Santa Claus wanted poster.

"It's about your dog, Mrs Collins. He's snatched the clippers off me and..."

'I can understand you getting upset when they make fun of your little arms, but eating your classmates is not the answer.'

'Help's on the way, Billy! For God's sake, keep sucking!'

'That's our most effective weight-loss patch.'

Al the Locksmith.

"I'm afraid he left everything to charity... Oh, I see. I take it your name's Charity?"

'I have good news and bad news. The good news, you're not a hypochondriac...'

'My next selection is a protest song against piano lessons.'

"It gets worse: 'Contains partially hydrogenated oils.'"

'We're being foreclosed on. We're going to have to relocate to a loafer.'