Comedy Club For Doctors Prints

Doctor's poker.

"There's your son's heartbeat, and over here is the app he's developing."

"If it were painful, could I do this?"

"Reverend, I recommend you turn the other cheek."

'It may be more inconvenient, but the 'Reverse Prostate Exam' is a lot less embarrassing for the both of us.'

"Now that we're into spring, we want to warn you that spring fever can be contagious..."

'I've only come to get my nail back.'

"I never imagined I'd be up on my feet this soon."

'I've got this feeling, like a heavy weight on my stomach.'

"We can give you enough medication to alleviate the pain, but not enough to make it fun."

"Which one goes down his bronchial tract and which one goes up his arse?"

'Snap out of it.'

'I tell them it's for a patient in the next room and they don't complain about their shot.'

"We did our best for your husband but his poor old health insurance was too weak..."

"I think you're suffering from nostalgia, Mr. Prentice."

'Urology...can you hold?'

'...And my thirty-seventh symptom....'

"Would you like to cut the cord?"

"You're in the "Stone Age." You've got kidney stones, gall stones, and bladder stones."

An allergist sneezing

'You've got lot toe!'

First clue that the latest medical breakthrough isn't quite there yet.

"First of all, where and what is a prostrate?"

"There are some things medical science cannot explain...like where the hell our health care system is heading."

'Who's your next of kin? When did you last eat or drink? Do you have any allergies? Are you wearing clean underpants?'

"You can never run too many bone marrow tests."

"Cough"

"It's a very senior moment—he's dead."

'Every new neurosurgery intern has to make the joke about the patient having an 'open mind' but then they get over it.'

Prescriptions and Side-effects consultant.

"It's for his shakes."

Nil By Ear

"Recovery involves elements of faith. So let's pray my billing service, this hospital and your insurance provider all work smoothly together."