Comedy Calendar Collector Mugs

Rage-a-Day Calendar.

Occu-Pie Mars

"Now, were those friends of your Gettys or Gottis?"

'You've got bats alright...now we'll just have to determine what kind.'

Build your very own conflict of interest!

'What did one flea ask the other?' 'Shall we walk or take the dog?'

"It's a letter from the Vatican. They say that whilst walking the streets without stepping into dog poo is nearly as miraculous as walking on water, it's not sufficient to canonize me!"

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

At home with the Bones...one skeleton yells at the dog chewing his leg, 'now cut that out!'

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

Banana Split...

"The Eggsorcist"

Turtle Hat

Filet minion

'Rover isn't any good at catching frisbees. You've heard of stone hands?...he's got a stone mouth.'

Drink for me and my hot mamma. Now! We don't serve beer. Latte. Two, punk! Decaf. You don't want to see him angry. Also, low-foam and soy milk would be great. You don't want to see him gassy. Can I get one of those little Twizzler sticks to stir it with? Cube of brown sugar, please. And one nonfat blueberry scone! Two! I'd like to see how John Wayne would've ordered a fancy coffee drink.

'Big sale at the Dog Store. Buy 1, get 2 free.'

Snowmobull

E-Baying @ The Moon

'Crushing empty beer cans is for wimps.'

"This is a great school but it wasn't my first choice."

"Oh no. Is that my ex?"

A trevor of trainspotters

I want a calendar where every day says here and now

'I love all the seasons! Fall and winter have great holidays, and spring and summer school gets out!'

Dog admiring hairless dog calendar

"Yes, if that towel weighs 25 lbs that would explain the reading."

Bernie the Monday morning quarterback meets David the Monday morning linebacker.

"Whose the new guy?"

'I reckon we need a new sweeper.'

What happened when the bond issues failed during the building of the Great Wall of China: The Great Picket Fence of China.

'I don't like to brag, but I'm the guy who coined the phrase, 'Honey, I'm Home'.'

'I'm SECRET Santa, kid.'

Spare A Change?

"How much did it cost to have your ears pierced?"