Comedy Builders Pillows

Ig-glue to build houses with.

Canned laughter for sale in Theatrical Supplies shop.

'No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants.'

'Masonry robot, what are you doing?'

'The hard hats? In case of falling interest rates.'

'The hard hats? In case of falling interest rates.'

'Still workin' on the beard, Jerry?'

'My analysis indicates the need for an asbestos-ectomy, electrical-graphs and a plumbing-bypass.'

Hypnotoon

'I don't want to be a nuisance, you can shoot me if it's more convenient.'

'I can count on one hand the number of contracts that I didn't finish on time.'

"Frosty the Repairman"

"Hey. We’re in the doghouse every night. That’s the beauty of it."

Building a better America - Financing by The Bank of China.

"And nobody noticed the crease in the blueprint?"

Dave took his motto, 'Roofing done in one hour' seriously, even nailing shingles before plywood had been put down.

Dave, determined to go green by using only solar powered tools, will hereafter check weather reports before making bids.

'Uh oh, I measured the lumber in feet, but you measured it in metric.'

"That's why safety boots are so important. . . you see? Eddie's feet have stayed perfectly dry."

'Ooops. Wonder if I can claim El Nino caused a surge in water pressure?'

"Uh-oh. The so-called marriage penalty."

"I think these may be counterfeit bolts."

Cost cutting construction ideas that failed: using rhubarb instead of rebar in concrete.

"No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants."

"It was going to be a high-rise office building. But after three bricks, they ran out of money."

Fred began to understand why this kit house was so cheap.

'I just don't understand what the big deal is about kiln dried lumber.'

"We had to put three screws in his neck and a steel plate in his head."

"I think we can agree that the bridge collapsing is not a good thing."

Why you should never leave a sander alone in a locked room.

'As I always say, 'If at first you don't get a passing building inspection report, get mad and tear it up.''

'If straw and sticks don't appeal, I do have something in brick that might interest you.'

'Useful Drywall Screws' next to a huge box of 'Useless Drywall Screws.'