Comedy Astronaut T-Shirts

"We come to visit you from the before time."

"Good Lord! Life on Mars...adorable life on Mars!"

"Honestly, I didn't know your wife was in the shower."

Save Our Universe

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

Right, this is the map of all the UFO sightings. Hold the light steady love.

'...it's some distance away - but there are lots of 'em and they're edible.'

Astronaut: Pay and Display Only

Smokers smoking on the moon, Astronauts smoking on the moon

Escaping Black Hole - '..But captain that's the pensions black hole there is no escape!'

'Sir, we're receiving a signal from space. It might be a candidate for possible intelligent alien life!' 'Nice going you ninny, you butt-dialled Earth! Now they're going to know we exist!'

". . . And how long have you felt alienated?"

'That must be the guy from corporate.'

"Most of our procedures are out of network."

Black Hole Corks

'OK, who stuck that wedding confetti star on it?'

"The Webb telescope can look FAR back in time to before things were a bit s**t!"

Aliens would have destroyed us years ago if it weren't for our entertainment value.

The Moon Falls Out of the Sky.

"Yes. I'm 100% sure it's your turn for a moonwalk."

'It's Howard Schultz calling. Does newly discovered planet Kepler 186F have an atmosphere suitable for a starbucks.'

"Houston....I've found the 'Plank Constant'."

'Mars will have an oxygen atmosphere within six months. We just sent a payload of Kudzu there.'

After our sun sheds the last of its energy and collapses in on itself... ...after the solar systems degraded, their planets flung out and consumed... And after those billions of stars in their billions of galaxies are all slowly snuffed out one by one... ...and after the last of the supermassive black holes evaporates... A single last question will remain, drifting through the long, cosmic dark... To renew your universe, please update your payment details.

Stand up comedians from outer space.

Spaceman serving shrimp.

A workman ponders a bolt on a track

'Russian scientists have determined where the meteorite than injured 1000 people came from. Thet say, 'It's not from around here.''

'Well yes, they sent me into space: But to be perfectly honest, I had no idea as to what was going on...'