Comedy Actor T-Shirts

Circus Pageant

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

Shepherd and eurydice

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

Occu-Pie Mars

"Tight......this isn't tight...now a New York City apartment......that's tight."

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

"To torture an insect or not to torture an insect, that is the question."

"Bond James, Bond."

They hated me.

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

"These aren’t the droids you’re looking for."

Zombie standup

Showbiz Awards

In his younger days Spock was quite the comedian.

Formal SuitsBusiness SuitsBirthday Suits.

"'I don't want war'. . . well, wither our translation program is broke or this president has a strange kind of humor!"

They're Not Just That Into It

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

Benedict Cumberbatch

"Don't be embarrassed. Most heroic archetypes your age have lost the ability to swashbuckle."

Thought for today: "All the world's a stage." - Shakespeare. And boy, are there a lot of drama critics.

12 O'clock was 'I'm a tractor time.'

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

'Believing any filming experience may help launch acting careers, some even stage their appearances before closed circuit cameras.'

"How long will we, the descendants of wolves, be content with table scraps and belly rubs?"

Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!

"Aristophanes explains comedy"

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."