Comedically Tense Moments Appreciators T-Shirts

"For God's sake, just split the last donut!"

Showbiz Awards

Sitting in a tree

"Dare I ask for mustard?"

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

"I suppose I should have let a few minutes elapse between declaring my love for you and announcing that I also loved lobster."

"Let's start with a couple of glasses of water and if that goes well I'll order two coffees."

"Such a cute doggie! And I'll bet you make the cutest poopies too, don't you?"

Waiter does not want to see customer make bubbles in his wine.

Windchimes

Speed Dating Disasters

"I'm sensing an awkward presence."

"Say these things, don't think them!"

"Good evening, I'm your date. Let me begin by saying I'm sorry I'm late, I'm sorry I'm bald and I'm sorry I'm short."

'By the way Adrian, it unfastens at the front.'

"Are you blushing?!"

"Don't make eye-contact, don't make eye-contact..."

Wind shear - 81 st and Lex

'It's our first date. You don't know me well enough to ask if I'm getting enough fiber.'

"Hi, I'm on the toilet"

"Can the bride refrain from twitching her entire left side?"

The Adventures of Morton - Harmless juggler.

"Now in the second law of thermodynamics..."

'On a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the highest, how attached are you to the cat?'

"Don't take this the wrong way, but your sweaty hand is grossing me out."

"I don't feel we've known each other long enough to sit in a booth."

"Cruz, I didn't send flowers to Rayna! We haven't dated in forever! Ever since I joked about calling her Anne Droid."

"Any other weaknesses?"

"So, is it like a foursome then, miss?"

"Wow, I can't believe it's already time for you guys to pick up on social cues that we'd like you to leave."