Comedically Inclined Couples T-Shirts

Clown has hit wife with custard pie. Marriage guidance counsellor says: 'Does he end every argument like this?'

"If she's a write off can you let me know the scrap value?"

"To be or not to be."

Man enters a palm reading establishment carrying a tropical plant.

'Can I call you back, Frank? A giant maggot is eating my desk, people are shooting at me and my hair is on fire.'

"...I don't believe in the past or the future. I don't even believe in right now. Everyone remembers the past differently. Everyone imagines the future differently. Everyone even disagrees about what's happening right now. So who's to say tomorrow what you and I did tonight?"

"Maybe what she really wants you to do is rub her tummy."

"Any qualifications other than speaking the language."

"The blow drier is broken."

"....'Sickness, health? ... better, worse... richer, poorer?'... how about leaving me some wiggle room!"

"Anyone else would have ship wrecked us on a south seas island."

"What fly?"

'The oceans are vast, yet we never go anywhere!'

'Your dinner's in the microwave.'

'Things haven't been the same since the alien abduction.'

'Look, another Now Available store is opening! Maybe yo could get a job there. They seem to be opening stores all over town!'

'If you don't plan on snacking in between meals, then why did move the fridge in here?'

The only way I can get through a nudist convention.

Clown Firing Squad.

'Oh george dear, the landlord has raised the rent!' 'Has he? I can't!'

'You told me I should run the house like a business, so what am I bid for dinner?'

"Yes, we did try to save our marriage. But, then he ran off with the marriage guidance counsellor."

'You're the one who called for a locksmith?'

'That's the last time I ask Janice to book the stripper for the office party.'

'Aaaaaah! Kenny's fallen in! Don't make eye contact! Play dead, Kenny! Play dead!'

Devils in hell bang on the ceiling as the angels upstairs are being too noisy.

"You ever notice how heavy your head is?"

'Dr Phil sez, if I'm gittin' the milk for free, I should do the right thing and marry her!'