Comedically Chaotic Souls Pillows

'Rinse please.'

'Yes, as a matter of fact, you have caught me at a bad time.'

"She was right -- Her teddy bear did squish your action figure!"

A mum trying to dry an excited child

"Hang on, I know I came into the kitchen for something..."

"The children took off their own coats this morning, Pastor."

Washing Machine Torture

"Can't you just relax and enjoy my childhood."

I WRITE FOR THOSE/WHO STARE OUT WINDOWS/WITH LITTLE HAIR ON THEIR TOES

'I wish I looked like a model.'

'Until you remember where you put the ladder, be quiet!'

'I warned her that too much dieting could be a danger to her health!'

"I'm $37,000 in debt for my theatre degree. I may be acting, but my tears are real."

Ginger was born to dance.

"We try to inject a little humor in our statements, but you should take them seriously."

The terrible 2's. It was an awful stage.

Birds in a birdhouse watching TV.

'When you invited me out fot dinner, I thought you meant...' 'Shhh!'

Whatever

'Yes, Master is drunk, but don't worry, I've stolen his car keys...'

Your weight and fortune. What you'll weigh now...what you'll weigh 10 years from now.

'The only good drive I made all morning was the ride back from the stupid golf course.'

"Your uniform has arrived for working for the royal male."

'Man, why don't you get a life!'

'Have you looked in the garden?'

Joker in jail

"Sorry, my mum asked me to babysit my brother at the last minute..."

"Hey, baby - that doesn't mean you!"

A great paper if you have a house full of kids...

"I know you won the lottery George, but is this the best you can up with?"

"Where is Master going? Well, today is Young Mistress' fifth birthday party, so logic dictates he's going fishing. . ."

Dandelions

Man on his way to heaven passes a sign "Heaven" up "Street Theatre" down

". . . ashes to ashes, dust to dust, a handful of ground coriander, the zest of a lemon. . ."

"The Bells, The Bells."