Comedically Chaotic Souls Pillows

'Rinse please.'

'Yes, as a matter of fact, you have caught me at a bad time.'

"She was right -- Her teddy bear did squish your action figure!"

"Hang on, I know I came into the kitchen for something..."

A mum trying to dry an excited child

"The children took off their own coats this morning, Pastor."

Washing Machine Torture

"Can't you just relax and enjoy my childhood."

I WRITE FOR THOSE/WHO STARE OUT WINDOWS/WITH LITTLE HAIR ON THEIR TOES

'Until you remember where you put the ladder, be quiet!'

'I warned her that too much dieting could be a danger to her health!'

The terrible 2's. It was an awful stage.

Ginger was born to dance.

"We try to inject a little humor in our statements, but you should take them seriously."

"I'm $37,000 in debt for my theatre degree. I may be acting, but my tears are real."

Birds in a birdhouse watching TV.

"Hey, baby - that doesn't mean you!"

"I know you won the lottery George, but is this the best you can up with?"

'Yes, Master is drunk, but don't worry, I've stolen his car keys...'

Joker in jail

'The only good drive I made all morning was the ride back from the stupid golf course.'

". . . ashes to ashes, dust to dust, a handful of ground coriander, the zest of a lemon. . ."

'Man, why don't you get a life!'

Your weight and fortune. What you'll weigh now...what you'll weigh 10 years from now.

A great paper if you have a house full of kids...

'When you invited me out fot dinner, I thought you meant...' 'Shhh!'

Dandelions

Whatever

"Sorry, my mum asked me to babysit my brother at the last minute..."

Man on his way to heaven passes a sign "Heaven" up "Street Theatre" down

'Have you looked in the garden?'

"Your uniform has arrived for working for the royal male."

"Where is Master going? Well, today is Young Mistress' fifth birthday party, so logic dictates he's going fishing. . ."

'A family car trip.' 'Contents Under Pressure.'