Comedically Challenged Pet Owner T-Shirts

'Albert, are you supposed to be leaving on a call or did you just get back?'

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

'You'll be getting $5,000 worth of doggy treats this week. If your owner sees the charge on his credit card, you don't know me.'

Separation

Man wearing T-Shirt saying 'Dog's Best Friend'

"I think what he's trying to tell you, dear, is that he doesn't quite care for the cheaper dog food!"

'I'm not an indoor cat. I'm a bitter, angry, frustrated, resentful, repressed cat.'

'Do you have to do that every time?'

"I know they're treating you kindly but are they treating you ethically?"

"You'd like a second opinion? Okay, I think you should stay off the furniture too."

"Well which do you think is more likely, your pillow is growing hair or you're losing yours?"

An advantage of robotic pets.

'I told you it was a stupid idea getting a pet lemming.'

'There's no evidence use of steroids will improve dog show performance.'

It doesn't pay to own a cuckoo clock and a dog at the same time.

'Butterworth was encountering a slight problem with the latest addition to his aquarium'

"My owner's been teaching me how to beg. . . I've made £30 today!"

If you think your pony is ailing.

"We're in for the night."

'Whoa! Slow down, kids! Your mom will neuter me if I bring you home with stomachaches from eating too much of that junk.'

Free Range Cow

'What am I blind, Bob?'

Telepekingesis.

Rockwell School (Dog disguised as pupil).

'That parrot is really repeating on me.'

'It's just not fair! Now that he's joined the gym, he's too tired to go on walks with me...'

"Your tired eyes are red and irritated because you put sleeping medicine in them. That's not how it works, Mr. Jenkins."

Chuckie's test results come back negative.

Balloon dog fouling path,

'Hey, knucklehead! You're standing on my tale!'

'Heal!' 'Heel!'

Schrodinger's cat-box

"Martha, throw away the Pooper Scooper!"