Comedic Workplace Observer Mugs

'Why's Burl hiding in the back seat, Joy?'

"Tell me more about your 'extensive experience in acquisitions'."

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

'Bit of a staffing problem, Boss. We haven't got any left.'

'I give this one about three months...'

"My computer just texted me."

'All applicants for employment must first submit to a company physical - We use it to eliminate anyone with a backbone.'

"Missing a call is no excuse for eating your assistant."

'Wow! That yogapilates has really paid off!'

Runner going through hurdles.

You're right, boss, there may be too much idle chit-chat, but let me talk it over with my friends.

'Have you decided who's going to be team leader?'

'You seem young, Perkins. Why, I bet I was incarcerated before you were even born.'

'You're not the manager I expected.' - 'So blame yourself for having lousy judgement.'

'Don't try to use me. I'm not user friendly!'

"We'll be single again in Heaven, right?"

Good solution. Now we need a good problem.

'Cut out the hearsay and get back to work, Ms. Sims.'

"Oh, he claims I bit his head off, did he? And I suppose you BELIEVED him?"

Age-salary ratio

"|For some reason, the boss is obsessed with my screen."

"Hey! This is news."

"Don't think of it as hell. . . just think of it as a normally recurring seasonal weather pattern."

'I never question your ability. I never even mention it.'

Glimpses One Dollar

'I'm afraid of being left behind.'

'Webster, is it just me, or do our new employees seem to be younger every year,'

'They're always going on and on about 'carrying management' so this seemed like a natural...'

"I don't have a 'first hired, last fired' policy. I just fire!"

'Lets see now, Henderson, you've not shown any initiative because nobody asked you to.'

I don't feel very secure on this job.

"That report you wrote sure made me look good to the board... Take an extra five minutes for lunch!"

'If you have a problem, take it up with the boss. His door is always open.'

'I'm knitting you sweater... do you want it too big or too small?'

"I like the way you handle responsibility, Fenton, so I'm going to blame some stuff on you."