Comedic Situations Aficionado T-Shirts

I thought this only happened in cartoons.

'They all laughed when I told them that I was going to marry a magician.'

Wedding Day Itinerary.

Trumpeter swan meets trombone swan.

"Dare I ask for mustard?"

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

'Please, could you me to Polish my diet!'

"Good news...turns out it was just your battery!"

''It's me or your stupid racing pigeons' I said - then immediately regretted it.'

"Oh, come on! I've told you, I'm not your 'imaginary friend.' I'm your father."

"Young lady! You aren't going anywhere dressed like that!"

"You heading south again this summer?"

Junk Stamps For Junk Mail.

Knife-thrower.

Vestibular Nerve: What it takes for a Vestibular System to wear paisleys with with pin stripes.

"Sorry I'm late: I was hitching a ride but when the driver noticed me, he panicked and we had an accident..."

"Any other educational qualifications besides Trump university?"

Husband electronic tagging control centre - Screen reads 'Pub'

Student to teacher: 'If my paper is late it's because I'm waiting for the most current event.'

'We were playing Twister at a party. . . there was a loud popping noise.'

'If they let me take you home for christmas, I'll be able to unwrap you with the presents...'

"It's your husband from beyond. He says stop trying to 'Google' him."

"Any luck"

"I brought popcorn..."

"When you said you were getting a pet to help you through the lockdown, I thought you meant a cat."

"My dad really went ballistic! I'm not grounded...I'm under house arrest!"

'Oh... I was supposed to swallow the pill?!'

'So, what have we learnt here? We do not have knife fights on the bouncy castle!'

"Well, of course you have a heart."

"Hello?- Anyone here?"

'I heard your licence was revoked.'

Eskimo in Igloo

'He doesn't like to be called an Optometrist. He prefers the title 'Visionary'!'

Jungle explorers face giant hairball.

Hmmm, this reminds me...your mother called last night.