Comedic Scenario Fan T-Shirts

"Well, of course you have a heart."

Monkey Curling Lion's Mane.

"Oh, come on! I've told you, I'm not your 'imaginary friend.' I'm your father."

Junk Stamps For Junk Mail.

Knife-thrower.

'Yes, he did turn into a price, but there were complications.'

"Do you know what time they open love?"

"Sorry I'm late: I was hitching a ride but when the driver noticed me, he panicked and we had an accident..."

"Any luck"

How come nothing good ever happens to me? Like what? Like getting taken by a foreign government then rescued. I want to get a book contract, to be part of the news cycle, to have him talk about me. Whom? Speak my name, Anderson Cooper! The great one.

'I heard your licence was revoked.'

"Hey you! C'mere and hold up this guy's pants while I go through his pockets."

Ostriches

"What makes you think I'm pregnant?"

'That's a male-pattern bald-faced untruth.'

Hippo on helipad.

Two men arguing on a train journey

"I have come to remove all the people from your planet."

I thought you wanted me to sell your car.

'You cant use the menu like everyone else?'

Look at you. The vacant stare

'Aaaaah' 'Helpline's busy can you hold.'

The world coming to an end

Fun run vs pitbull parade

'Dad, what are you doing in sex education class?'

'Mr. Beegley will see you briefly.'

'Well you said you were hot, so should I turn the fan on or not?'

I thought this only happened in cartoons.

'Whilst you were in the toilet, they descended into the underworld.'

'This is no time to be washing your hair,Margaret!'

'I shudder at the thought of a clone of Fred.'

Cats in police lineup