Comedic Romantics T-Shirts

"Al, are you certain that this guy has the authority to marry us?"

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

I want to rip out our lawn and plant a wild meadow. And I want lost of well-mown grass. What do you recommend? Nursery open. Just a sec. I'll check with my dad. No way! Tree's Tree Nursery. I'm not suggesting a marriage counselor!

Robocop and Juliet.

Crew Goofs Off While Out Of Sight

Visual Gag: An about to be married Bride using a real train as a wedding gown train

"Push harder - I still can't see the scale."

"Maybe what she really wants you to do is rub her tummy."

'Do you Duane, paternity suit notwithstanding, take Diane...'

Randy the Love Doctor. What ails you, brother? My wife wants us to renew our vows and have a big ceremony. But I'd rather save that money for retirement. Should I tell her to go take a hike? Of course. That way, there's a good chance you won't have to worry about retirement at all. Exactly ... Wait, what do you mean by that?

'Where do you see yourself in five minutes?'

"I hope you love me for my money, not for who I am."

"And last week I nearly crashed while reading on the freeway..."

A thief steals a heart

"What lucky stranger's hitting the jackpot tonight?"

'The oceans are vast, yet we never go anywhere!'

"We got him onto an exercise bike, but I'm afraid it was too late."

'Things haven't been the same since the alien abduction.'

"I always say; 'You don't need to spend a lot of money to have a good time on a first date."

"Anyone else would have ship wrecked us on a south seas island."

Jumble Sale

"We should take life one step at a time." "OK, but not right now...there's some dogs do-do right in front of us!"

'If you don't plan on snacking in between meals, then why did move the fridge in here?'

Tonight's Lecture: Your share of the national debt. That explains my credit rating.

Jeff makes some nice jugs.

"My primary challenge is to strip away the hardened carapace of societal expectations..."

Rollercoaster police chase.

"I'm looking for a GPS with Morgan Freeman's voice. Maybe my husband will listen to it."

'You told me I should run the house like a business, so what am I bid for dinner?'

"Why aren't you wearing any pants?"

"Hello, gorgeous!"

'That holiday I booked for my wife to the Galapagos Islands? She found her way back, so can we try another destination?'

'The answer is yes - I'll sign your pre-nuptial agreement.'

"You ever notice how heavy your head is?"

'We moved here so we could have a wide screen.'