Comedic Rivalry Appreciator Mugs

"You never laugh at my jokes."

"Dare I ask for mustard?"

Men playing water football in barrels on a lake

Golf Hole at bottom of lake.

Animal Olympics: 'What do you say next year we have some non-cheetah races?'

Once again, Daisy had won the 'Employee of the Month' award...'

Teacher to student: 'I taught your father. He owes me $3,000 for therapy.'

"This is the future of logistics. Thanks to our new technology this parcel can miss-send itself to somewhere in Kazakhstan."

'Why would I want an ocean-going yacht when I've got a rocking chair in my front porch?'

"The Bible . . . that would be under self-help."

'Watch your step. I happen to know you're an alpha male.'

Searching for condom.

A truck full of radioactive waste with no particular place to go...

"We never had a 'last conversation,' but if we had, you’d have lost."

I'm the gorilla's nuts... I'm the dog's bo****ks... He's never been good at hiding his light under a bushel.

The Club Singles Duel.

"I know I encourage employees to take initiative, Tom... but I think you should change that back!"

'What do you think? Surge or escalation?'

"It's not enough that we succeed. Cats must also fail."

'Great script, great cinematography, great everything. But the whole 3D thing is lost on me.'

'Okay guys, paper already beat these guys, and we beat paper last week. . .'

World Ping-Pong Federation.

"Why are you using your phone during the match?"

"I shaved with detergent, did the dishes with shaving cream and showered with dishwasher soap. It all came out the same."

'Hooray! A Christmas miracle! I suddenly went blind an can't see that mistletoe above your head!'

"Scruffy? I'm not scruffy! I'm natural!"

'Say you're sorry and promise to give him a rossette.

'How were we to know oil would run out? We only sell the stuff.'

'If I was a golf ball, I wouldn't do what you wanted me to do if you called me that either.'

Don't mind him, I'm incredibly famous and he is my fan