Comedic Observers T-Shirts

'You're new here, aren't you.'

'You just had to throw the manual out didn't you? Big man can figure everything out for himself...'

She left and took everything. How could she, he thought, she knows how much I hate grocery shopping.

Narcissism

Yomp Foundation Presentation committee: 'Don't let the gong intimidate you!'

No Parking - Scandal or No Scandal

Zoo: No Hunting.

"Call me 'pops' one more time and I'll lace 'ya one!"

"My computer just texted me."

'He keeps grounding out the energy flow.'

"She bathes him. She feeds him. She burps him. Mother's a real micromanager."

'Wow! That yogapilates has really paid off!'

Runner going through hurdles.

I must be losing my grip, he didn't query the bill...

"We'll be single again in Heaven, right?"

"Don't think of it as forgetting stuff. Think of it as freeing up brain space."

"Hey! This is news."

"Don't think of it as hell. . . just think of it as a normally recurring seasonal weather pattern."

'We've minimized your tax liability by losing a lot of your principle.'

'I can't understand how those burglars could clean out our house so quietly.'

Glimpses One Dollar

"Please excuse our appearance while our records are being impounded."

Pop up begger.

"The school construction budget is so small we can't even afford to build a snowman."

'I'm knitting you sweater... do you want it too big or too small?'

So the short answer is no; these aren't billable hours.

'I don't remember his name, but he also sold me $14,000 worth of aluminum siding.'

Men and Women's changing rooms

Tree growing

When psychiatry works too well!

"I expected to see some politicians in there!"

"Do I take it that we can't be guaranteed your vote in the forthcoming election?"

'It's bad enough I get overrules at home... why here also, Sharon?'

'You thought I'd gone out of business? What gave you that idea?'

"Wait a minute! - First you say, 'Lay up treasures in Heaven,' and then you say, 'You can't take it with you'!"