Comedic Explorer Of Absurdity T-Shirts

'Incidentally, our health insurance has limited eye coverage.'

'It's called 'Oh Bugger It!' if you must know!'

"I thought we agreed you weren't going to work at home."

"You know how it is, one minute I'm selling insurance in South Dakota and the next minute I have a hook for a hand. How about you?"

'I'd like two pizzas, one with cheese and pepperoni and the other with cheese and sausage. One more thing, do you deliver?'

Crab with a clown face.

"Now you can send it."

'Miss Jones, take this down.'

UFO and snowman

Baseball.

Operation.

Salome on Settle (also called Maitresse d'Orchestre) - intended for book but suppressed

Woman goes to Origami Airport.

'Bad as this may look, it's actually the perfect accompaniment with your entree.'

"At last! - A text from Godot!!"

Minefield! Thank you for treading carefully.

'Ok, now if everyone could just hold still.'

Trapeze artists commuting

Lambo

"It's taken her years to develop that naive, spontaneous, style."

"Yes, but can your philosophical speculations on existence also be relative to why I crossed the road?"

A patient, a doctor and a deep sea diver

'Time ou! ... Flea!'

Albert should have known that cactuses rarely have change. Besides, they prefer jazz.

"I was going to call you but I remembered I left some empty oxygen canisters on Mt. Everest."

'You're too fussy - the coffee isn't THAT bad!'

'Okay, now I'm hoping he's right...'

After his 'Activity Weekend' Uncle Reg was a changed man.

'Man, this elevator goes on forever...'

"I just attained enlightenment! - Gimme a high-five!"

A Heated Argument

Tourist is told to go home by a monument

'Sorry Ma'am, but I only do palm-readings...'