Comedic Cowboy Enthusiast T-Shirts

"My gun's in the shop. Let's establish a dialogue."

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

'Unbelievable: My cowboy expects me to drop everything and come running when he whistles...'

"Go away, he's not done playing Cowboys and Indians yet."

Dawing your Cellphone

"This town ain't big enough for the proposed outlet shopping mall at Millet Creek Pass."

'Who do you think you're kidding, Slim? — the ruby slippers are a dead giveaway!'

"I don't care how good he is. Ain't nobody can get a short on Jeffrey."

The Cowboy Way; Doing the Right Thing

"Can't we ride off in another direction?"

'I still want to be a cowboy.'

"I broncobust and I Dust-Bust. You got a problem with that?"

"Waving the hat keeps the cattle moving and lets my hair get some highlights."

"I learned ridin', I learned cowpokin' and I learned how to eat and sleep under the stars. But, dag nab it, I never learned any geology."

"Head for the carrousel! It's our only chance!"

"You're right -- this town is big enough for the both of us."

The Not So Wild West

Western Outfitters.

"I dunno ... I get the feeling this is going to end very badly."

"Mom, Dad - I'm a sidekick. I've always been a sidekick. And I want you to know that I have a pardner."

"...you mean this is the end of the 3 bandidoes?"

"So long, Ma, I'm ridin' off into the sunset."

Louis L'Amour hones his craft.

A dog dressed as a cowboy leans against a sign that reads "Armed response".

Civil Howdy Pardnership

Cowboy

"We could have a shoot-out, then brunch."

'If we survive this, you are totally walking home.'

Cattlemans Saloon.

'Hey, I made a hole in Juan.'

Jasper's Limo Service.

Nannies Of The Old West

"Sorry, Zak, since paintball aint bin invented yet, looks like you bin shot!"

'When I said loosen your buckle and let 'em drop, I was talking about your gunbelt.'