Comedic Conversation Starter Pillows

"No, being heavy enough to wear a sports bra doesn't make you an athlete."

"You're very interesting, for a civilian."

"Where else in the world would you get such wonderful sunsets?"

"Let's just say I have a pre-existing condition."

'I can't force jocose if I'm not feeling it.'

"You're such a good listener."

"So, you say I'll be doubling the numbers of animals I kill?"

Freedom comes at a cost. We must be willing to pay the ultimate price. Retail.

"You know how it is, one minute I'm selling insurance in South Dakota and the next minute I have a hook for a hand. How about you?"

"This has nothing to do with you ... this is between us and the tree."

"Anna - there's someone I'd like to meet."

What nationality were your parents? North or south Poles?

'I like you, you remind me of someone.'

"He's sworn never to say Boudicca, ShrOwsbury, whoM, or narrative."

"Gals, you know I hate being the center of attention, so for the next 45 minutes I am going to monologue about all the minute details of my wedding planning."

"In hindsight, we shouldn't have had him cremated."

"She likes to be included, so I told her the tea is called 'Squirrel Grey.'"

"Not to brag or anything, but I'm the elephant in the room at my company."

"Idea?" "No. Just a light bulb."

"Remember how I've always had a hard time asking for help?"

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'

"He also barks, meows and makes noises like a hamster."

When did you first feel like a male trapped in a female body? When I was a foetus.

“I may not know much about books, but I do know which titles burn best.”

"I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it?"

"Would you rather get hit by a racket or chewed by a dog?"

"That's not a knife crime initiative. That's a knife crime initiative!"

"He gets easily abstracted."

"How to talk to people" "Make them rue the day"

"Pssst! I had some CGI done."

“Hey Everyone! It’s the first day of Fall! Okay, you go first!”

"Remember, if I can't introduce you it's because I can't remember their name - so that's when you step in and introudce yourself so we can get them to say it, okay?" - Company Party Prep.

'My boyfriend's a Cardiologist.'

"I can't go much longer without your asking why I'm vegan."

"...and she said 'MOO!'"