Comedic Conundrum Lover Mugs

"Sales rep from Milton Keynes? You prove he no British spymaster who sent you on secret mission to Bananastan?"

Wedding Day Itinerary.

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

'Please, could you me to Polish my diet!'

"And last week I nearly crashed while reading on the freeway..."

''It's me or your stupid racing pigeons' I said - then immediately regretted it.'

"Young lady! You aren't going anywhere dressed like that!"

"You heading south again this summer?"

"For me it's all about the craft of acting."

"My first novel is a prequel of a sequel, it's about time travel."

'I'm all talked out. Let's look into some gene therapy.'

The other day during the zombie apocalypse

Vestibular Nerve: What it takes for a Vestibular System to wear paisleys with with pin stripes.

'Wow! How did you catch something smaller than the bait you were using?'

"Good Dad, Bad Dad"

"That's the plus of our lifestyle: The trophy hunters just look at us, sigh and move on..."

"Sorry I'm late: I was hitching a ride but when the driver noticed me, he panicked and we had an accident..."

Student to teacher: 'If my paper is late it's because I'm waiting for the most current event.'

'If they let me take you home for christmas, I'll be able to unwrap you with the presents...'

'So, what have we learnt here? We do not have knife fights on the bouncy castle!'

"When you said you were getting a pet to help you through the lockdown, I thought you meant a cat."

'Oh... I was supposed to swallow the pill?!'

'OK, pal, you've called me a little shrimp for the last time - let's see what you're made of!'

Eskimo in Igloo

'He doesn't like to be called an Optometrist. He prefers the title 'Visionary'!'

Lone traveller is befriended by tourist from hell.

"He won't get far without this!"

Hmmm, this reminds me...your mother called last night.

"Also, this apartment comes with easy access to the stray cats in the alley."