Comedic Campaigner Pillows

"I'm running for city council and I'd like to kiss that baby."

Save the unicorn.

"Still Undecided Political Blocs"

Visual Gag: An about to be married Bride using a real train as a wedding gown train

Fish Posting No Fishing Sign

"Before I start. . . . are you sure pruning doesn't violate the tree's rights?"

'Whenever I want to cut my lesson short, I ask the music teacher if she has any hip-hop music for the violin.'

'The cannon will go off every 20 minutes just to make sure you're paying attention,'

'Thank you but I'm a bit sensitive to ethnic food.'

Jumble Sale

'You have a 9:00 A.M. appointment with your ophthalmologist to check your vision and a 11:00 A.M. appointment with the staff to rally the troops around your vision.'

"Gavin is a bit conflicted when it comes to barbecuing."

'Do you mean I leave a lot to be desired bad, or a lot to be desired good?'

Jeff makes some nice jugs.

Jeb Can Ficks It

Rollercoaster police chase.

'You mean if I want extra money I have to go to work? That's your job, dad.'

Heaven on the Phone to Hell - 'We've got Sky.'

'I understand the plight of average crustaceans... Because I'm just an average crustacean myself.'

It's not Global Warming silly: I bought a plastic plant...

"They're nice, but not as efficient as my coal-powered chimes."

'I've hired this musician to play a sad melody while I give you a sob story why I didn't do my homework. It's actually quite effective.'

"Quick on his feet means if you can't answer a question, run away!

Model's aspirations

'In view of the crap you talk, I'd suggest to take this, sir, before you get sued for environmental pollution.'

"The gods are energizing their base."

I know I'm a wooden campaigner but elect me chief and I promise I'll bop heads for you every day!

It's not the Winning. It's the Taking Part that Counts. Vote Lib Dem.

'Was it an Indian elephant or an African elephant?'

Petrol for Regular and Large cars.

"When dealing with Americans, refer to the heat in Celsius. They hate that."

"I think he's running as an independent."

Too-Humble Pie.