Comedian In Clucks Prints

'Which came first, the chicken or the egg?'

''...And defend the Constitution of the United States.' -- And now, I'd like to pardon the following Illinois politicians....'

College student cleans messy dorm room littered with clothes with leafsnow blower

"Yeah, our garden is always a mess: We can't stop ourselves foraging for worms..."

An Early Ventriloquist Meets His Future Dummy

'Ain't no lonelier life than being a free-range chicken boy.'

Kisses--Sniff Your A-hole.

The Big Four debate banking ethics

Wall Cluck.

"One checker, two packs of cigarettes, two screws, one teapot bird, one piece of coal, three lighters, one Christmas light, one clove of garlic, four boxes of matches, two books, three pieces of broken dish, eggshells, one saltshaker peg, one pen, one cre

"It's a new policy, sir. . . you have to be wither under fourteen or over fifty to rent Jerry Lewis movies."

"Isn't this just a repeat of his 1332 Christmas special."

'How the heck is anyone supposed to lay with all this chitchat going on?'

The Hen Commandments.

'We need to slow down and take our time getting into our hurry up offense.'

We leave grandpa alone until he finishes his cussword puzzle.

"Mom, are we vegetarians for ethical or religious reasons?"

"Sorry Pardner, but this is fool's gold!"

"Honest dear, those other 39 hens don't mean a thing to me!"

"Trimmed, but not so much that I can't claw up the furniture."

Clay pigeon shooting

"Another meeting?"

J-J-JOE'S B-B-BAR, 'Actually, Joe's done pretty well for a guy with a speech impediment.'

"I've found it the easiest way to administer nose drops!"

Man buying 'Caviar Wiz'

"My wife took up walkin' a mile a day five years ago. Haven't seen her since!" "Lucky son of a..."

'Hey - I was in line first! There you go again...messing up the pecking order!'

'Oh Doris!! I just love what you've done with the place!!'

"Reports are that you've laid an egg everywhere we've placed you."

Hello, you have reached the Johnsons. All of our family members are currently busy sharing the events of their day. Please continue to hold, and the next available 4-year-old will be with you shortly. Machines Programmed for Telemarketers.

Of course the jury sent me to prison --- The judge instructed them to "de-liberate"!

"I don't know what it is, but there's something about them that really gives me the creeps."

'I dunno. Looks like some kind of milking machine but she's wearing it all wrong.'

Where the hokey pokey went wrong.