Comeback Tour Enthusiasts T-Shirts

"We're very excited about this cashback, er, I mean comeback, tour."

The Vineyard

The Epsom Derby - The Finishing Line

'How about a little smile for me. You've outlived my prediction!'

Mass Travel

"Yes, but this one is made of Chiclets."

'Well, they're just like your mom's cookies if your mom is a 35 ton, multi-unit dough extruder.'

'Look, several prisoners in my client's facility have reported finding God in their cells! Yet you claim you've never broken in one time?'

"It's Cinderella?!?"

"Well, that's show business."

'Why are you so obnoxious?' 'Heredity!'

"That was 'Salt Peanuts'."

"Thank you. Now we'd like to do our big hit -- I Can't Wait to be 16'."

Musical Mestizo.

'I would go to the end of the world for you.' - 'Yes, but would you stay there?'

"All the good band names are taken by microbreweries."

'Reinventing myself.'

Oh, all right. It's a win-win-WIN situation.

Not Such A Fool As He Looks.

'No, I didn't sow them - we had a pop concert here last year.'

"We moved to the sea to get away from the crowd, only to find they'd moved to the sea."

'I'm not saying he's immature, but 'our song' is the theme to 'Sesame Street'.'

"Does it still qualify as a quorum if half the participants slept through the meeting?"

'My homework? Why, at home.'

"He killed in rehab."

Well, the kids are ready for Pesach

The cleaner of the opera.

"Yep, I was the little runt you used to tease all the time! Guess what, I had a late growth spurt..."

"If you're a self made man...why did you made yourself so short?"

Haydn's Surprise Symphony

"Kid, you got a 'While You Were Out' message."

The Cohens assert their Jewish identity during the holiday season

"High school reunions."