Comeback Collector Pillows

'Mr. Churchill, you are drunk !' 'Yes Madam and you are ugly but tomorrow I shall be sober.'

A lesson in wit

'We can't end the meeting now. I've got this list of snappy comebacks I thought up during lunch!'

Smart Ass - Wise Ass

"It only goes forwards and backwards. So, you won't need a GPS."

"That's five votes for In The Midst of Winter....three votes for The Hollow Ground....and, again, one vote for Moby-Dick."

"T-shirt weather's coming. How ready are you?"

Friends and enemies of the Earth.

'The pile of unread books by the bed looks bigger than the futon...'

'This is a wind-up, isn't it?'

Dog wears t-shirt: 'The Duck Stops Here'

Angel wears t-shirt with logo: YOLO.

'Hot' and 'dog' t-shirts.

I'm with, wait, don't tell me. Starts with an S, right?

I e-bay t-shirt.

"The keep saying unrestored and what a nice PATINA, Ted. A better-sounding word for old tarnished stuff would be SCRINCH or SKRITCH, don't you think, eh, Ted?"

I'm Stupid (Damn Autocorrect)

'Console 3GMEGA3D plus 3K+SUPERAUDIO USB 35,000.000 MGB...'

'It's time you knew the truth. You're not my real son. You're a novelization.'

'...But the good news is your old Enron stock has become a high-priced collectible!'

Over-reaction Man.

'You've had the eye exam. Now buy the t-shirt!'

A girl wearing a t-shirt saying ', la'

'Save the Smallpox Virus'

'Overnight delivery of 500 'I survived the tornado' T-shirts!'

'My son was nailed to the cross and all I got was this lousy t-shirt.'

Edgar Wallace.

'I see dumb people wearing 'I see dumb people' shirts.'

'My friend went to Roswell and all I got was this lousy t-shirt.'

Phone Call

The next big thing

"Leftovers"

Witty T-Shirt Guy

In case of emergency...break glass: Crisis Manual.

'Come on...no one would be dumb enough to buy those in a million years!'