Combat Training Pillows

“Sarge - When do I get to blow shit up?”

'That's not speaking, that's barking Try again'

'Any wilderness skills besides making smores?'

"So, what are you reading?"

'Some people just aren't cut out for adventure gaming, Bruno — maybe you should try chess or checkers.'

"This round, forget the finesse. Hit him."

Basic training w/ GI Joe, Rambo, Bruce Lee, etc.

A Rifle Competition in the North

'This one is for Hide and Seek.'

'We could make a fortune teaching Parkour you know...'

"Keep it up. His knuckles are getting really sore"

"I've never liked 'im - he's an attention seeker!"

'So....how many hours were you practising half pass this morning?'

'Blue Fox to Swat Team: execute on my count of three and when officer O'Rourke has fastened his bootlace.'

'Being a Drill Sergeant isn't s tough - all you got to know is how to count to four.'

"Cruz! Are you eyeballin’ me? Eyes shut during savasana! You hear me? Lance, get up and give me 10 headstand pushups to help Cruz here shut her eyes."

"… and once you've finished advanced infantry training, you'll be assigned to film school."

'Today we're going to simulate rough weather conditions.'

'Now, I want you to get back out there and beg him for mercy!'

The Joust

"The hardest thing about winning bouts? The other guy's fists."

Forget about the college basketball tourney, endless drilling in 100-degree summer heat is the real "march madness."

"When it comes to surviving, you're learning from the best."

"I'v never actually stormed a castle, but I've taken a bunch of siege-management courses."

'I believe you want some fencing done at the bottom of your garden?'

'March up that hill! And smile once in awhile, will you!'

War Exercise.

'…and if you feel dizzy and pass out - pass out lying at attention!'

Competition disappears. You'll have the field to yourself!

The country manager rehearses a combat

"You call that a push-up!? My mother can do better. Work it!"

Extreme camouflage

Volunteer field day at Brighton, April 21, 1862

'Welcome to boot camp. You'll be staying in hut two-three-four.'

"Darn, men! How often must I repeat it!? Blow!! Never suck!"