Colorful Microbiologist T-Shirts

'You should see that microphotograph of me - with those false colors, I never looked better.'

Disease Management

"Fred, I think you're spending altogether too much time down here with these mushrooms!"

"Tour de Frank"

'But Timmy, you have to eat your antibiotics, or you'll never become a big and strong bacteria.'

Scientist counting microscopic things he can see in his microscope

'Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who is the fairest algologist of all?'

When bacteria trash talk to antibodies. Oh yeah?! You and what course of antibiotics?!

"I'm going to get you fired."

Down a the lab - Germs "So what will you do when you grow up?" "Oh the usual...divide,multiply,infect,kill.."

'That which does not kill me, make me stronger.'

An experimentalist alarms his guests by describing the appearance of the mushrooms in a dish they have just eaten.

"Pssst! - Gerald, you've mutated again. . ."

DNA Analysis.

'That new antibiotic seems to be working. Time to evolve again.'

Gene Therapy

"That new antibiotic seems to be working. Time to evolve again."

'It's a deal. You don't infect me, and I don't infect you.'

'Since Fleming already beat you to it with penicillin, I take it we can dispose of your week-old sandwich?'

There's Nothing Worse Than A Staff Infection

Footballer and Bacteria.

Viral Pathology Center (janitor finding three dead bodies)

"Are you sure this is a 'Flu virus?" "See for yourself...it's nose is running!"

"Hey!-This looks like a good place!"

'Not only was the superbug immune to antibiotics, but it had developed a taste for Dr Jones' whisky.'

"I'm trying to grow a cancel culture – but it keeps dividing and dividing until there's nothing left."

Until Bob entered her life, Lisa never even knew the meaning of the phrase 'acute multiple drug-resistant infection by transgenic Staphylococcus aureus.

'You tell me how to give them a fever, and I'll tell you how to make them cough.'

'A geneticist laid bare my genetic blueprint, and I feel violated.'

Cell splitting - don't do that.

We'll have to reproduce fast to defeat the antibodies! I get it! Divide and conquer!

"I know you've been together a long time, but I'm sorry... Your microbiome can't follow you in."

"To be honest, I'm not really surprised to hear your relationship isn't working out. You're not the first bacterium and penicillium to sit in those chairs and you certainly won't be the last."

Biologists often consult with microbiologists.

Photosynthesis? How lazy can you get?!