Microbiology Enthusiast T-Shirts

Being the gentleman he was, Brian insisted on paying in restaurants even though he suddenly realised that dating a bacterium was going to be more expensive than he first thought.

"You've heard of that new virus that's been going around? It's me!"

Molecular Biology and Cosmology buildings

Disease Management

"Tour de Frank"

'But Timmy, you have to eat your antibiotics, or you'll never become a big and strong bacteria.'

Scientist counting microscopic things he can see in his microscope

"What's a nine-letter word for biotechnology?"

'Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who is the fairest algologist of all?'

"I'm going to get you fired."

Down a the lab - Germs "So what will you do when you grow up?" "Oh the usual...divide,multiply,infect,kill.."

'That which does not kill me, make me stronger.'

"Pssst! - Gerald, you've mutated again. . ."

DNA Analysis.

'That new antibiotic seems to be working. Time to evolve again.'

Gene Therapy

'It's a deal. You don't infect me, and I don't infect you.'

"That new antibiotic seems to be working. Time to evolve again."

'Since Fleming already beat you to it with penicillin, I take it we can dispose of your week-old sandwich?'

There's Nothing Worse Than A Staff Infection

Footballer and Bacteria.

'I'm afraid it's one of those new superbugs.'

Viral Pathology Center (janitor finding three dead bodies)

"Hey!-This looks like a good place!"

"Are you sure this is a 'Flu virus?" "See for yourself...it's nose is running!"

Cell splitting - don't do that.

'Not only was the superbug immune to antibiotics, but it had developed a taste for Dr Jones' whisky.'

'You tell me how to give them a fever, and I'll tell you how to make them cough.'

"I know you've been together a long time, but I'm sorry... Your microbiome can't follow you in."

"I'm trying to grow a cancel culture – but it keeps dividing and dividing until there's nothing left."

Until Bob entered her life, Lisa never even knew the meaning of the phrase 'acute multiple drug-resistant infection by transgenic Staphylococcus aureus.

'A geneticist laid bare my genetic blueprint, and I feel violated.'

"To be honest, I'm not really surprised to hear your relationship isn't working out. You're not the first bacterium and penicillium to sit in those chairs and you certainly won't be the last."

Biologists often consult with microbiologists.

'I've discovered a talking amoeba!' '2+2=4, 5-4=1, 93=3.' SMASH 'I wanted to get it before it multiplied.'