Colorful Coordinator T-Shirts

"I'm busy this afternoon, but I can crayon you in for Saturday."

'And just what makes you think I don't know what I'm doing?!!'

'With my parents out of the house, I can finally start my long awaited mural project.'

'You certainly have a well equipped workbench.'

What every man thinks to himself when he puts on a pink shirt.

'Tom will coordinate our pre-holiday point-of-purchase displays and Mark will coordinate our post holiday point-of-return displays.'

Crotchet

'How many blummin' shades of black ARE there?'

3 Pointless Things To Do At Christmas: Add a little festivity to your favourite fast food/Look up an old friend/Murder the Scotch.

Modern Parents

'I have never seen a resume prepared in pastels and oil paint. How long have you been unemployed?'

'Quick! Look cute!'

'Men will never understand.'

octopus knitting a jumper...

Sure start.

'Daddy, why is that man wearing a blank T-shirt?'

'I've no objection to children, darling, as long as they're carefully colour co-ordinated.'

Woman colouring man's clothes with crayon.

Furniture. I don't care what style. I just want a couch that matches her fur.

"Painted like this, finding furniture to match at least one colour should be simple!"

"I guess life does imitate art."

Woman shops while man sets up noose. "Do I go with bright white, deep white...."

'I'm looking for a business suit, in a color that will let me blend in.'

'I don't see how this roller thing helps. . .'

Decorating a column.

My compliments to the chef – These colors totally match my Instagram aesthetic.

Robot Costume

'Bill, I like the way you handle responsibility so I'm going to blame some stuff on you.'

Nail shop offers cell phone covers that match painted nails.

Juggler

"At an event some chick publicly badmouthed my husband. I didn't run on stage to knock the lady down because she was right."

'....Who's the interior decorator again?'

Painters

"I'm sorry, but Woolfsey Academy expects a basic level of preparation from its candidates. Mistaking vermilion for scarlet? I don't think so.".

Paint by number