Color Catastrophe Captain Mugs

Paint By Number

"Fred's calculating what future natural catastrophes he can ignore based on his probably life span."

Is that pancake ready yet?

'It's 10:00. Do you know where your kids are?'

'It's good to see that you have a smoke detector...'

"Cat park"

What's your contingency plan, Randy? My what? If a calamity of biblical proportions were to strike here in Canardville, would you flee across the bridge to Candorville? Or would you search in vain for a fallout-resistant bunker, before surrendering to the cruel inevitability of your demise? I ask just for the sake of discussion. No reason to panic. Totally unrelated: I just found out someone who's definitely not me is selling fallout bunkers at buy-this-now-if-you-want-to-live.com. Very bad man.

Disorder in the Court!

Naughty Puppy Dog.

Sportknitting

"Walter had an attack of road rage in the driveway."

'When an outboard goes overboard'

"Ahoy!"

Cloning...Oops! Oxelot.

No wheelies.

'Roger that...I'm taking the first clean shot I can get.'

'Apparently all my creative juices have seeped into the left side of my brain.'

These colours haven't just run. They've sprinted!

Potty Training.

"Well, what I lack in cognitive thinking skills I more than make in moral flexibility."

"The weatherman is always wrong. It'll probably end up being meteor showers."

"Wow, I did not see that coming."

'I see you caught the fish, but the boat got away.'

"Jeez, what a day. It's good to be home..."

'Well, lucky you! The chef informs me that his breakfast special today is blackened scrambled eggs!'

A rowing cox takes a taxi cab.

'Should my souffle blow the oven door off?'

"If pressured, I will run!"

"The chef's having a tough day, what with coroners and such."

The end is nigh.

"Spinning, reefing, tacking...they sound like a dress making circle."

"Perfect! A table all to ourselves!"

'I don't get too far at home complaining about cubicle. My wife's cubicle has thirty four children in it.'

Parents everywhere: There's no shelter in place.

"Olly Olly oxen free!"