Colonial Reenactor T-Shirts

'I'm a moderate.'

"Look at that – they’re retreating!"

"Let's just say I have a pre-existing condition."

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

Knight Golfing

Piracy on a boating lake

With Thorssen, it's "Pillage and blunder".

"I think you'll find the pen is writier than the sword."

Missing You.

Castle, Cafe + Gift Shop.

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

"Hear ye! Hear ye! Look, having nuclear - my uncle was a great professor and scientist and engineer, Dr. John Trump at M.I.T. - good genes, very good genes, O.K., very smart. . ."

'I think they're up to something.'

"Dare I ask for mustard?"

'Don't bother Daddy -- He fell in the moat again.'

Goddess

'We will not be disarmed by gun control! We will not be stripped naked and left at the mercy of a tyrannical government!'

"But if we win and the Visigoths lose then we're the wild card."

"But I use all of them!"

'Damn, I knew that disabled access would be our undoing.'

"Young Montague's full of himself."

"If we're musketeers, why can't we just shoot people? with muskets?"

New and Used Armor. Ow! Ow! Ouch! Ow! I told you to spring for the under-coating option.

'Your Majesty, the peasants are out of bread!', 'Then let them eat low-carb stuff.'

"The British are coming. Just sayin'."

'And you said he'd shoot his eye out with a BB Gun!'

Gladstone ignoring Russian atrocities not suited to his party's political purposes

"Dad, it's Friday. Can I borrow the siege tower tonight?"

Knight school.

Emperor Trump gives a thumbs down to a polar bear

"Friend or foe?"

"Relax, Marge! I'm sure the folks at 'Ultimate Pirate Adventures'. . ."

'Betsy Ross knitted it for me.'

Historic Danish man using his helmet as a trumpet.

'And we're just a stone's throw from the beach.'