Colonial Connoisseur Mugs

"To the gentleman in the back, at four pounds, last bottle of gin in all Khartoum!"

"The Founding Fathers?! Ha! That’ll never stick!"

'I got them to agree to a small settlement.'

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

"Unfortunately, once the child contracts Pokémon, he lives with it forever."

"We seem to be spending more on defence than on things to defend"

"I've decided to step down as CEO so I can spend more time with my money."

Assault 'n' Vinegar

I rather like bucket and spade holidays.

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

'With all the tanning lotion, sun block and moisturizers, we're more coated with batter than the onion rings!'

Hang on...I've got WINGS..!!!

'Are you sure this is authentic ancient Indian art?'

"Can you speak up: there's a bloody racket going on in the background."

'Yes, can I help you?'

"And that's General Ambrose T. Spangler. He died in the Great Mustache Fire of 1897."

'What was that?!' 'A 'Mach'-ing bird.'

Ideas Ahead of their Time

Turning Japanese: I really think so.

The signing of Ben Franklin's non-disclosure agreement.

"This is a great school but it wasn't my first choice."

Creation of Red Wine

'Well, I guess we're the control group.'

Kid with plaster cast being sawn off.

Colonial Larrysburg.

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

"How the hell is that supposed to feed us?"

Guide reading book called 'A farewell to arms.'

A Witch Consults Her Magic Mirror

The Cremaster Cycle

'Does it bother you that we have all the money?'

'Oh my! He finally proposed!'

"I got a red card for not having enough fun!!"