Collusion Commentator Pillows

"Think you're pretty manly, eh? OK, put the gun down and let's have a fair fight."

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

"‘Click’, you have reached the White House, press 1 for shameless groveling, 2 for presidential pardons, and please have your credit card details ready..."

'Your salary will help you learn the lesson that life is not fair.'

"Shankar, I needed someone to dot the 'I's' and cross the 'T's' but that was before there was ChatGPT."

'Cartoonist thinking'

How's my sermon. . .

'He hasn't played a game yet, but there are people who have started whinging about him already.'

"An Iraq attack is one thing, but I'm not sure about a Persian incursion."

War 2023

"Miss Jones, bring me into the 21st century..."

'If your boss is so dumb, daddy, why did he hire you?'

"I liked it better when you used gobbledygook."

"So I'm like, doesn't anyone speak proper English any more?"

'I wouldn't worry about the retirement plan. You'd have to be out of your mind to work here that long.'

Sports Radio in Crisis

Tree of Public Opinion.

"Lord, save my ass from this Russia debacle, please!"

The National Institute for Advanced Talk-Show Punditry.

Carl Shurz's attacks on President Grant are 'Played Out'

And now, for a rebuttal.

'Never roll your eyes while the boss is talking.'

'As we all know, the appearance of honesty is the best policy....'

'Oh man, he just nailed that triple entendre... that all but guarantees him a medal.'

The United States of Amazement

"If PBS announcers did football games." "Let's listen carefully to the quarterback as he scans his options. It appears that the defense seems to want to deter his team from moving the ball forward..." "The fans are making so much noise. I wonder if they know how hard that makes it for the players to concentrate?"

'Iraq had no WMD's? Iran has no nukes? Surely there must be some terror-producing country to keep Americans frightened, and in support of big defense spending!'

"This is gonna be great!"

"Great news, things are looking up in Iraq!"

"Actually, we will replace you."