
"I'm moving all the money from our rainy day account into a slush fund."
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"I'm moving all the money from our rainy day account into a slush fund."
'Maybe so, but at least I'm an equal opportunity corrupt scoundrel!'
'Ask and ye shall receive.'
"I have a rich and generous son who wants to contribute to the heavenly fund."
Enhanced Pedophilia Interrogation Techniques
Opportunities in Coronatimes
Trump Administration Raising White Flag in Ukraine
"Nation-building never works."
"He's the chief watchdog, who watches over all the other watchdogs—but this must be his night off."
Who gets the anti-corona vaccine?
'What's wrong with those Europeans? We have more murders in this city than England, France Germany and Spain combined.'
"Mom, does the Russian borscht you made for dinner give me foreign-policy experience?"
Trump Poutine
Here's the Weird Anti-Terrorist Trash Talk That Stayed on Donald Trump's Cutting Room Floor After the Manchester Attack
"You know who's tougher than all your little superheroes? The fossil fuel industry."
Laughingstock
Political Candidates' Playbook Signals from the sidelines
"I see the White House didn't lower the flag to half staff."
"Hey...look...I'm prepared to admit that I might have been wrong, but...I think it's time to draw a line under it... and y'know...move on..."
Unemployed recession: the irony is killing me
'Why does my opponent keep lying about me?', 'Because truth is stranger than fiction?'
A lock labeled 'freedom' covers a man's mouth.
'I was hounded out of office!', 'That explains the smell.'
"I just know he's gonna ask me why I voted for Trump."
"....So called 'fake news' is dangerous to our democracy!"
"Actually, yes, honey — I do believe 'Fox News' is an oxymoron."
New York Corruption - Auditor Watson's Death, and Suspicions on Broadway Works Project
'Tesco's cheif executive meets with staff.'
Tearing up the Iran Deal
'To paraphrase Franklin Delano Roosevelt: The only thing we have to fear is the NSA, FBI, CIA, DEA, IRS, DIA, EPA, FTC, FCC...'
"New court filings. Totally clears the President. Thank you." "Actually, sir, it, uh, says you did crime and might go to jail."
"Sir, multiple people were stabbed by a terrorist in..."
America Finally Solves the Gun Problem
"Hear ye! Hear ye! Look, having nuclear - my uncle was a great professor and scientist and engineer, Dr. John Trump at M.I.T. - good genes, very good genes, O.K., very smart. . ."
What've you been up to since college, Lemont? Oh, I became a journalist … had a kid, blah blah … but I wanna hear about you, Rudy. Grigori Rasputin. How've you been all these years? How's your Uncle Mort? Are you a Russian spy? Boop boop boop. How'd that stomach-tumble-translator startup you founded in the nineties go? Wait ... what did you say you became? What do they have on President Trump? How's your cat? Boop.
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