Collision Connoisseur Pillows

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

'You wouldn't happen to be sitting on my entry to the straightest runner bean competition?'

Weatherman: "Tonight's weather forecast is confusing, followed tomorrow by downright bewildering."

Bernie the Monday morning quarterback meets David the Monday morning linebacker.

'I'm going to add to the confusion. I'm going to sign my name upside-down.'

'Time to buy.'

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

"I said to make a thousand CLONES."

Man frozen in portrait pose.

Moliere

Charles Dickens.

"The Jacksons will be there in about an hour and I promise you guys an epic fight!"

Bleak House

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

'The new intelligent dummies aren't working out. They've figured out there's a break!'

"And when my head hits the dashboard, I want you to pass me a compensation claim form."

'Arrivals and Departures - this railroad governed by Heisenberg's uncertainty principle'

An incident from the Eglinton Tournament, scene 2.

Mass Confucian

'...and to commemorate 20 loyal years to the company, this gold plated sundial.'

'Oh you mean that silly little email.'

Why destroy Carthage? Just offer them coalition government!

Spot the Higgs Boson competition

'How about if we choose teams based on who has the coolest stamp collection.'

'Now we come to what it would have been worth'

The Priceless Ming Vase Relays.

The 'I'm Almost Finished With War And Peace' Bookmark

'Your baseball card has more value than you do.'

"No, thanks Bob. And just exactly when did you decide you were a 'dog person'?"

' I hear she was quite the collector...'

"I gave him 'the old one two' just like you told me to. But then he gave me 'the old three four'."