Collegiate Sports Prints

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

Go team!

'Another football scholarship offer?'

"College basketball recruiters are after him."

"Sarah's grades are excellent. She got A+ in 'Yogi Berra: Philosopher or Fall Guy?,' A in 'Dollars and Scents: An Analysis of Post-Vietnam Perfume Advertising,' A in 'The Final Four as Last Judgment: The N.C.A.A. Tournament from a Religious Perspective,'

The feeding frenzy has begun, gorging ourselves on bowl after bowl of college football.

Cheerleaders

Lost Season

The Giamatti era

"No, I'm not the first in my family to attend college. But I am the first at an Ivy."

'Play any other position besides Monday morning quarterback?'

Scenes we'd most like to see...

'I've decided to skip my senior year and go directly into an endless cycle of unrealistic expectations and failure.'

"I'm so sorry that I screamed...I had a terrible dream: the kids had to leave college and live with us again...Oh, Ed, it was horrible!"

'What do you mean you didn't learn anything? You learned how to tackle, didn't you?'

College game crowd: 'WE WON',,,'and that somehow makes you superior'

Baseball players and their qualifications.

"Let's do exactly what these pundits in the halftime report said we should do. If we lose, we'll blame them!"

Enrollment limited to college varsity athletes.

The Thurston State Hornets make their entry onto the field.

"Wow, the current is strong today. It reminds meof the championship race backwhen I was at Yale. Did I mention I rowed at Yale?"

Tax What?!

Student to kid: 'School first, then Mount Everest.'

Coach Prime Cleans House

"Don’t worry. You’re looking at the Frederick H. Tuttle Middle School long-jump champion."

"This has been quite a season for Zobrowsky—a hundred an twenty-nine receptions, sixteen touchdowns, a B-plus in English, a B in philosophy, an A in political science, and a B-minus in French!"

Bowl Games.

'So, in college what did you major in' - 'Business poetry.'

So you're wearing a bag over your head because you're ashamed of your team?' 'It's a cloaking device.'