College-prep Parent Pillows

"At these tuition prices an acceptance letter is pretty much a denial."

'Your pediatrician? No. . . I'm your baby's college admissions representatives.'

"Hey, there's Sara, padding her college-entrance résumé!"

'Child labor laws don't apply to homework, Jimmy.'

'Spelling, math, history, geography --now the stupid school wants me to take a polygraph test!'

"The counselor wasn't much help about getting into college. All he said was to study hard and get good grades."

"Aren't you young to be worrying about college?"

'Oh, yeah? Well, my kid has accrued more college loan debt than your kid!'

"Do you really use all of the stuff on this school supply list?"

"When I go to college, I'm focusing on a STEM area of study!"

"Being from another planet is worth thirty points towards your child's admission to Harvard."

'They're 'individual' cheese slices, Herb, We knew one day they would go out on their own,'

Contest to enter the University

"I suppose it's 'Empty Nest Syndrome', doctor. . . ever since Amber left for college I've felt so empty!"

'It wasn't my fault. They asked me about things that happened before I was born.'

"Today we're filling out mock college applications."

"Oh George. My heart."

"I've spent more sending my son on college campus tours than I did getting my degree."

"Higher learning gets higher each year."

'I didn't do my homework because I forgot my user name and password.'

'My son is away at college, majoring in communications. He never calls and he never writes.'

'I started a whole new business, Mom! Kids are paying me to complete their college applications.'

"Our son is off at college, so as a reminder of him, I keep a dirty sock-scented candle burning in his room."

Blew off my S.A.T. prep class.