College-bound Dreamer Mugs

The bane of every college applicant: the admissions essay.

'Of course, that's just an estimate for your children's college costs.'

"My dad doesn't nag me enough about going to college."

I got into the college everyone wants to go to! Well played. It's the perfect fit for me! Way to go! Eco-Club. Which one is it? Dunno. Why do you care? So I don't apply there!

"I know a college education means a better life. But I worry about Gracie living on some campus alone."

"I think we'd better enjoy these table scraps while we can. . . I heard the older child say she wanted to go to college!"

The fate of the emigrant

In the future, human thought will enter an age of clarity and purity never before dreamed of.

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

'Desert island cartoons - and you?'

"One year closer to college!"

"This statement from your headmaster says that you can easily get a good degree...your bank manager says you can't."

'So what are you studying, young man?'

"I want a top education, but don't milk me dry with school fees."

I'm getting ready to apply for college. Do you have a list of party schools?

"Is there any way I could get a dashboard instead of a report card?"

Standard endings for sci-fi movies...

"At these tuition prices an acceptance letter is pretty much a denial."

'Your pediatrician? No. . . I'm your baby's college admissions representatives.'

"Hey, there's Sara, padding her college-entrance résumé!"

"My papie says I'm going to be the first in my family to go to college!"

"My parents are going to pay for my education but I'm on my own for any attorney's fees."

'I wish his guidance counselor spent more time on college plans and less time suggesting names for his band.'

Danae's Celebrity Career: 'I don't know where to begin in deciding what I want to be when I grow up...I want people to shut and leave me alone, and I need lots of attention, so...'

Good luck in your A Levels.

"'How to Buy Tickets on Bezos' Spaceship so You Can Live to See Your Teens,' by Chloe Butler."

'OKAY, okay Sandra, I'll PAY for your University course. But it BETTER NOT cost me an arm and a leg!...'

'In the future, that should produce thousands of PhD theses.'

'Good news Mom. I was accepted to the college of your choice.'

'And here's my collection of stock in DiscoCorp... or as I call it, your college fund.'

"The extent of your extracurricular activities in high school, may very well be participation in regular program of oral hygiene using an effective decay preventaative tooth paste, but that won't get you into a good university."

Minion, I'm ordering you not to talk about alternate histories with the customers. No more "what if feudalism never happened" nonsense. If people start thinking things could've been different, they'll soon start thinking things could've been better. Which could lead to them thinking things can still get better. This "gap between rich and poor" thing is working out in my favor. I don't want your talk of alternate pasts to accidentally create any alternate futures. Very bad man.

I'm interning at town hall for my college transcript. Cool. I'm taking AP classes to boost my GPA. How about you, Twig? I'm working at my dad's nursery. What do you get out of that? Money. Novel idea!

"Someday our robots will have all our anxieties for us."

"Man, how to you guys get that great new flying saucer smell in here?!'