College-bound Connoisseurs T-Shirts

Blew off my S.A.T. prep class.

"One year closer to college!"

All Hail the Matriarchy

Henrik Ibsen,

Ten Years to get the Ph.D

"I wish my Dad would get off my back! It's only been nine years and he wants to know if I've picked a major yet!"

Yahoo! What's that about? She got into the college of her choice. Which college is it? Not sure. She chose to apply to 37. West Fester High School.

'Good news Mom. I was accepted to the college of your choice.'

Ether Island

I'm interning at town hall for my college transcript. Cool. I'm taking AP classes to boost my GPA. How about you, Twig? I'm working at my dad's nursery. What do you get out of that? Money. Novel idea!

Ghosts from around the world

'What I don't understand, is how a guy named Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart stayed out of fights long enough to compose any music.'

'You've spent the last 20 years in college. What made you stop hiding from the real world?'

The Leaning Tower of Pizza

"These days, professor it's "T.V. punditry or perish.""

"Oh George. My heart."

"We just want you to know that wherever you wind up going to college is fine with us, as long as it's someplace we can brag about to our friends."

RunningBear@Arrowhead.com.

'I started a whole new business, Mom! Kids are paying me to complete their college applications.'

'She's so posh, she can make her wind sound like Verdi's 'Requiem'.'

'Interesting specialist subjects.'

"I'm glad this is the last of it. Mom and Dad kept smiling, but I know it's breaking their hearts that I'm going to be living at college!"

'You need to get your grades up...because good grades are an early sign of good credit scores.'

Boris Bike

Maxim Gorky.

'I had a good share and tell, Ms. Gibbs, but my family made me sign a confidentiality agreement.'

"Have you considered not going home at night? Just think of the travel savings.."

What's with all the cameras? They're filming seniors for college field hockey recruiters. I'll never be good enough to get admitted. It's just a game. In the real world. No one cared you even played. Then why do they make us do sports? To take your mind off all the college pressure!

It's nice to have a positive parents' night topic. College admissions. Hearing about drugs, depression and sexually transmitted diseases gets old. The 3 downer 'Ds'. Tonight we'll discuss your kids' futures in higher education. We'll cover drugs, depression, diseases and crushing debt. Correction. 4 'Ds'.

Drinkers.

Olde English Delicacies - Maypole Syrup.

One Week Only! The 100 Greatest Paintings of All Time!

Binge Drinking On Campus.

'We've found that having our kids leave for college from an actual nest helps them to grasp this momentous passage in their lives.'

'My mom said someday I'll grow up and go to college!' 'My mom can burp the alphabet. She learned how in college!'