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'So you're the referee who had the courage to call a Technical Foul on Bobby Knight.'

"Lautrec or Gary? Hmmm... We'll take Gary."

"We first met on the net. We began to court, but between my foul mouth and Wilson being on the rebound...let's just say it was a long shot, but he pressed, and I was defenseless. Now, we're as 'hoopy' as can be."

"Sarah's grades are excellent. She got A+ in 'Yogi Berra: Philosopher or Fall Guy?,' A in 'Dollars and Scents: An Analysis of Post-Vietnam Perfume Advertising,' A in 'The Final Four as Last Judgment: The N.C.A.A. Tournament from a Religious Perspective,'

"How should we divide the teams?"

'We have to forfeit, Three of our players got squashed on the way over here,'

'And now, please stand and join us as complete amateur butchers our national anthem.'

'It's a combination of March Madness,,, and Linsanity,'

'I don't mind players entering the NBA at an early age. It's the diaper changes that I hate.'

The feeding frenzy has begun, gorging ourselves on bowl after bowl of college football.

Cheerleaders

'What do you mean you didn't learn anything? You learned how to tackle, didn't you?'

'Guys! The turnovers are KILLING us!'

Coach Prime Cleans House

The Thurston State Hornets make their entry onto the field.

Tax What?!

'Gotta cut your grade back for that.'

Our coaches are from top college teams. Questions. Why aren't you in training? Sports Camp. Rotator cuff injury. Concussion. Back surgery. Counselor. Ok, campers. Let's show them what you've got! Excellent health insurance card representation!

'He, also, rebounded our stocks with our endorsement deal.'

"He just married me on the rebound."

Putin and Obama.

Turtle shooting baskets has rim on shell.

'Just shoot! You're thinking about it too much!!'

Boy spinning basketball on finger next to dog spinning ball on wagging tail.

'Ring around the rosey ...'

'This is really going to tarnish his legacy, Al.'

'Remember, your father may be here physically, but mentally he's attending the NCAA tournament.'

Wheelchair Basketball

Inside Obama's armoured car.

"Too bad for you that the judge rules in favor of dogs playing in varsity sorts."

'I represent the Lilliput High School basketball team.'

"How are my animal mascot teams doing?"

So you're wearing a bag over your head because you're ashamed of your team?' 'It's a cloaking device.'

It's unlikely the "Deadly Sins" team from Hades University will go far in the basketball tourney. Wrath is suspended for arguing with the refs and sloth always skips practice. Pride puts too much pressure on himself and greed won't risk an injury that would blow his chances for a pro contract. Lust is distracted by the cheerleaders and Envy wants the shots all the other players are getting. Gluttony is the only player thriving in the tournament spotlight. Yeah, he just eats up all the atten

'He's our team doctor, athletic trainer, chiropractor and psychiatrist all rolled in one.'