College Applicant T-Shirts

"Cheer up, Nicole! What does Princeton know? Say, you got any plans for that last bit of cobbler?"

"College Admissions"

'Yale's my first choice but any ivy school will do.'

"Actually, I'm hoping what I'm going to be when I grow up hasn't been invented yet."

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

"Yes Dad, I passed math and now I'm passing chemistry and physics."

"I had all the right answers, but I had them in the wrong order."

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

'Another football scholarship offer?'

"One year closer to college!"

"You know what happens when you make good grades? They send you to another school called college."

I'm getting ready to apply for college. Do you have a list of party schools?

"At these tuition prices an acceptance letter is pretty much a denial."

'Your pediatrician? No. . . I'm your baby's college admissions representatives.'

'He's got classic form, but if he doesn't improve his grades he won't get into college. He doesn't think.'

"So what makes you think you're the man for the job?"

'This scholarship application is great. You must have received an A in creative writing.'

Through These Hallowed Halls, walks Our Future - "Talk about putting pressure on a guy!"

'The bad news is you failed all your courses. The good news is you passed the urine test.'

"Hey, there's Sara, padding her college-entrance résumé!"

'It's my application to Harvard...'

'I wish his guidance counselor spent more time on college plans and less time suggesting names for his band.'

It's a letter from Tim. He claims his grades are improving and he might even make the DEEN's list.

"Class, this is Mr. Elzondo. He's going to talk about going to college."

"No, I'm not the first in my family to attend college. But I am the first at an Ivy."

Treadway college - A little knowledge, a lot of tuition.

'Cat Lit. You?'

'I've decided to skip my senior year and go directly into an endless cycle of unrealistic expectations and failure.'

Scenes we'd most like to see...

'If you are not careful, son, you will be mathematically eliminated from all of the Ivy League schools.'