Collecting Scarves T-Shirts

'I washed mine in starch!'

"CCCOOOLD!"

"It was better before God took up knitting."

Women's Bonnets Block the Audience View

Pashminas are sooo noughties!

Great British Eccentrics.

Tommy Cooper at the bottle bank - Glass, Bottle, Bottle, Glass..

"Move ten paces, turn, then fire. Ready?" "Dibs on the hat."

"The derby is better. That makes you look like Abraham Lincoln."

Bottle Bank: For the Colour Blind.

"Beanirrito"

'Mind taking off your scarf.'

"So what if people do laugh? The world can use a little more laughter, can't it?"

"I've had these glasses since I was a kid, when my doctor told me I'd grow into them..."

"Where do you remember last seeing your glasses?"

Magicians hat being pulled out of a rabbit

Always an awkward moment when you meet a Dung Beetle...

'Here was proof that Lawrence was indeed an Englishman."

Hombre's Best Friend.

"Good heavens, Caruthers. It's the wife!"

Western Outfitters.

"I don't care if you are on full alert, take that silly hat off before you tear the pillows to shreds!"

Hat Boxes, in the Closet

Football supporters.

Flight Socks.

"I designed it with you particularly in mind, Mrs. Dillman!"

'He got a hole in one today.'

"If you wear these caps backwards, they keep the sun out of your eyes."

Garden sprinkler in the form of a classical statue

'Dude, ya hat's on backwards.'

A day at the races

'Beret Night at the Museum'

The last of the Mom and Pop brokerage houses

'This is the kind of hat you wear to bed.'

They will too notice.