Collecting Satire T-Shirts

"These pills will cure your O.C.D., but first I wonder if you could organize my shelves."

'Get them whitened? It took me $50,000 and five thousand bottles to get them this way.'

Beckett for Beginners: "Waiting for Thumbkin"

"She's a show dog...purebred, of course." "That's great! My guy's a Sanskrit scholar...wrote for the Harvard Lampoon."

"Hell, George - they even miss ME!"

'He's a good listener, but only to the sound of his own voice.'

Bureaucracy gone mad!

"Actually, I think it's a cluster of SCUD missiles heading our way!"

'What makes you think I want a trophy wife?'

'Probably giving evidence at some sort of industrial tribunal....heh!'

'Upon further review, the pig did not have control of the ball prior to being eaten...'

"Barry stop!. . . I'm you! I'm Barry from 2008. I'm using a time machine to stop you from making an awful mistake!"

The trap

"I hate weddings. They make me feel a momentary lapse of cynicism."

When Downsizing has Gone Too Far...

"My God—I've forgotten the number of my Swiss bank account!"

The Modern Damocles -

'Someday, son, 50 of this will belong to your ex-wife,'

The Unknown Philosopher, who first realised life is no picnic.

Corporate Punishment.

Peace bomb.

Slave Drivers.

'If a job's worth doing, it's worth off-shooting.'

"You are the weakest wink...goodbye."

My boss is a real turd.

Bureau of Missing Door Knobs

"Maybe I will and maybe I won't - You're not prejudiced against transvestites, are you?"

ENNUI...(smiley face).

'Finally, an objective way to decide who to promote around here.'

"It is as I feared, Mr. Moran. It's definitely a stiff upper lip."

'It's good you called me when you did, Bill. Believe it or not, a little speed-bump like this can derail a perfectly good career if it isn't handled just right!'

"Of course I got rid of him...in my own way."

Introducing Peter's Cousin - Murray Pan - The Boy Who Refused To Stay A Child