Collecting Reptiles T-Shirts

'I don't know, Fred. It's nice to meet your young ones and all, but are you sure they're yours?'

"I decided to go all out on the house decorations this year."

Football Chameleon

Annie, the Reptile version: 'The sun will come out tomorrow! Tomorrow! You will sun yourself tomorrow!'

'Play it again, Sam.'

"You're right—there's no such thing as personal space in a hibernaculum."

The Age of Reptiles. . .

'I haven't been able to come to grips with it. My hands are too small.'

'You'll get five paid sick days, plus an additional two when you're shedding your skin.'

Burmese pythons discussing a complete invasion.

'Rabbits make great pets, but it's best to have them one at a time.'

'Iguana know what time it is.'

Giant reptiles use building as a pinata.

The deadly sport of cobra staring contests.

"He is throwing another of his 'hissy fits' again!"

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

'Oh don't worry, we had him defanged.'

'He's normally not affectionate, but he's really taken a liking to you!'

My wife's been talking to the skin I shed for over an hour.

"I'm not a doctor, but I don't think the problem is with your bladder, Bob."

Reptile Class: 'My homework ate my dog.'

Crocodile

'Timmy, stop being naughty: Don't sit up straight!'

'And I thought I had a big egg to lay.'

"Okay! Okay! It's a draw!"

"I'm so glad we don't need a selfie stick."

'Mom, there's good news and bad news. The good news is the cat won't be scratching up the furniture anymore. The bad news is... well, um...'

'Ms. Moffit, please inform the staff that I have morphed and send in that plump young marketing trainee.'

Danth battle?

The Monitor is going to sleep.

"I'd love to go out with you. Do I have to have time to change."

Snake Eyes

Ed totally blows the final portion of his Chameleon Aptitude test.

'I can't believe an Alligator stole my identity... I mean, it's quite obvious I'm a Crocodile!'

'I keep thinking I'm David Icke...'