Collecting Remotes T-Shirts

'Seem the remote?'

'It's the TV remote - he has a death grip on it.'

"Leave me if you must, but don't take the TV remote control!"

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

"It's official"..."It's a drought!"

Larry's used art

"Ironically, this is the living room."

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

Skipping Horse

"These aren’t the droids you’re looking for."

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

Grace For Flies

James Bond in a Snow Globe

Dear, could you please pick up some batteries? The ones in the remote are dead and I feel like I'm Amish.

Packaging Russian Dolls

'...I already have 26 cats, why not 27...'

Director/Action Man toy.

"You're very interesting, for a civilian."

''...And defend the Constitution of the United States.' -- And now, I'd like to pardon the following Illinois politicians....'

International Women's Day

"Unfortunately, once the child contracts Pokémon, he lives with it forever."

"No Timmy, I don't think your pencil has system requirments or upgrades you can download from the internet."

"Now here's one that has the glamour above the table."

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

Seagiraffes

"I call it 'Bad Dog.'"

Cat woman shopping for cats.

Cocktails on the verandah.

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

Robert Fripp

New and improved! BunkerBuster! Get out of the sand trap every single time - or your money back!!

'Goodness, no Doctor, my husband is not calling you any insulting names. He's a duck and that's the only word he knows.'

Frontispiece to the first volume of 'Master Humphrey's Clock'

Bird feeding chick that is nesting in a knight's helmet