Collecting Poetry Gifts

Dishes and spoons run away with each other from a warehouse.

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

If you bathe a skunk in tomato juice, it will smell like a dog. A bird in the hand is better than two in your shorts. Never wear aqua after Thanksgiving. Unconventional wisdom.

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

My Bookshelf Before the Internet

Library sections; Fiction, non-fiction and do-it-yourself.

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

"You're going to hate yourself."

"Meet The Author"

"Meet the embellisher 3-5 pm"

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

"Do me next."

Books: Novels, Short-Stories, Tall Tales.

"Tonight! Author book signing." "Develop your inner raging bitch."

Edgar Allen Poe

Sherlock Holmes selling Sherlock Holmes.

Victor Hugo

"I didn't finish the proof but I did write this poem about my struggle."

Open mike night presents Sadie Cohen. Summer's almost over

1599: Shakespeare's Agent knew what the public wanted

"Once upon a midnight dreary / while I pondered weak and weary."

Shakespeare does stand-up comedy in the round.

"I gotta be me!"

One Man's Meat is Another Man's Poetry

"Now I really hate poetry."

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

"No writers were harmed or mistreated in the preparation of this story."

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

Why we need poetry. . .

"My novel is not a doorstop!"

Cow jumping over the moonshine.

Updated Nursery Rhyme #27.