Collecting Insurance Paraphernalia Gifts

'Ha, ha, the joke's on you. I have the homeowners protection plan!'

"You make a great point."

Side Effects

A Fork-lift.

'I don't know what happened. One minute she's spooning me. The next minute I'm knifing her.'

Car insurance, breakdown cover, mobile insurance, home insurance, camera insurance... - 'Life insurance, health insurance, professional indemnity, and tax insurance.' - 'Let the bad times roll... heh, heh!'

'The trick is to label straight away, otherwise I forget what I have in my larder...'

'Back in '83 I painted my entire den white with those little bottles of correction fluid. That was the golden age of office supply pilfering.'

Cautious photojournalist.

The Spoonish Inquisition

'This is a pick 'n' mix ward - you choose your own medicine.'

Whoa, you're right! I didn't know we even sold dragon insurance.

Wangling War Films How to Make and Fake Them: III The Arrival of German prisoners at Margate Jetty by the Night boat from Boulogne.

"I want to climb up mountains without a rope, jump down waterfalls and run through a swamp barefooted to film crocodiles. That's why I need travel insurance - I'm a scaredy-cat."

There's a fork in the road.

"...and at work, Doctor, I feel all the paperwork I have to do is taking the joy out of my chosen profession!"

'My family's eyes are all blue! You had the camera setting on red out!'

Shootouts For Cowboys Who Don't Really Like Guns.

'That takes care of health, life, homeowner's, and car -- now, how about some alien abduction insurance?'

Bob always reads the Passenger Information Card, just to see what it says about him.

Fork with a missing tine is in a wheelchair.

"Impressive brawl skills."

'I care about my family. That's why I take a supplement for iron poor blood.'

'Well, you have an excellent life policy -- now, would you be interested in some lifestyle insurance?'

In the Nostalgia District

"Don't worry. Insurance should cover it."

'This is the worst red-light district I've ever been in!'

"I warned you not to mix the vitamin pills." - Vomiting letters of the alphabet.

'There had to be an easier way to open your money box, Graham!'

'I told you we'd sell more if I dressed up like a pilot and pretended to buy insurance.'

'I'm looking for something that says 'luxury'... but most of all... 'get out of the way!''

'How do I tell the fork from the spoon?'

Flasher/Cameraman

"Oooh, my favourites. Forket me knots."

'Hey mister, do you work here?'