Collecting Humorous Signs Gifts

'You don't have to be a cow to work here...BUT IT HELPS!'

Mother hen driving with 'Eggs on Board' sign.

'Maybe it should be funnier...'

'Kix? Yes, Ma'am -- you can get your Kix on aisle 66.'

'Kong, loved your resume but I have to ask for a drug test.'

'My door is always open to all employees, but only until my air conditioner is repaired.'

'Brand X, the wine for those with indiscriminate taste.'

Beware of Everything

"I don't care who's naughty or nice anymore-I only keep track of who's crossed me."

Joe's Truckstop Diner: Eat In - Take Out - Poop somewhere else.

The Shoemaker's Appendectomy

Lesser Known Active Volcanoes.

Will Work for Food: By 'work' I mean do nothing. . . by 'food' I mean cash.

Just Browsing.

Dogs Home: Beware of the Human

Welcome to old age - I come up seven or eight times a night to empty my blowhole, too.

"I couldn't be happier if I were in slop."

This would be Andy's first and last day as golf instructor at Sunset Oaks Country Club: "Remember, *hic*....Always jerk your head up and swing at the ball as hard as you can."

"Well, it's only one glass after dinner darling!"

Gonna Suck

Up Pariscope.

"Is the snapper fresh?"

'Ha! OK Eddie. You owe me 50 bucks!'

Urp! Homo Eructus.

Lovers' hop - for the less agile.

'Could you give me big tits?'

Fall Rocks/Deer Crossing

Visual Gag: Caution Goose Bump

At death's door

Elder Assist Bird: 'I'm not going to tell you again! Take your ***** pills!'

Loose seal

'Would you knock it off with the 'woulda-coulda-shoulda'!'

The Gallop

Town Hall sign says 'Enter Here for the Old Run Around.'

"Waiter! I need a doggie bag and a body bag, please."