Collecting Bizarre Experiences T-Shirts

Man finds a python in his breakfast egg

Competitive Eating Competition Competitive Vomiting Competition,

Tunnel of Whale Guts

"I've put every one of those vital master copies through here, and it took ages. Where do the copies come out?"

Storage Unit of Love

Odd Spas

'Beer? Wassat then?'

"I've been window-shopping..."

"My great-uncle Octavio always wore his hat in the house. That way, if bad company knocked on the door, he could say he was just leaving."

Newton discovers surrealism

"Is there any way we could describe this bit of old tart that would make a Russian oligarch pay £2 million for it?"

"Just once I would like to laugh or to frown."

'I wonder if I should add this to my resume.'

Furniture faux pas: The coffee table coffin

"First and foremost, I feel that architecture should make a statement."

'Have you got to have a Gimmick.'

Igor leaves an I.O.U. after stealing a brain.

'We're going to have to pass on the painting - but we'll take a case of this wine!'

'It was owned by a little ol' lady who didn't drive it. She used a motor scooter on Saturdays.'

'Who knew college would prep me for a first class upgrade?'

Be polite to your acupuncturist at all times. A basic life lesson hard learned.

'I'd like to return this snake. It's suffering from reptile dysfunction.'

The Reigate train was more unusual this morning

'Could you just sign it 'Bobby'.'

Moments later, everyone would think Khrushchev was a kook.

"It's not necrophilia if you're both dead."

'Franken-fauna: Monopod Pig.'

"Okay, these people are financing a big part of the movie, so during the lovemaking scenes, try not to drop the snow shovels."

The only thing "odd" about this book is the fact that everything in it seems perfectly natural to me. Odd Facts. ?

The Tortoise and Hare Delivery Service, Allow 1 to 365 days for delivery,

101 uses of a dead cat: briefcase

"Just get over there and let me get a picture."

'Oh, do you do Sumo?'

This stuff seems perfectly normal

'Great aim. Totally tweetworthy.'