Collecting Beer Gifts

'Domestic Beers'

ALEment 1

'It's perfect, how did you know...'

'He calls it his Olympic legacy, he thought the games went on for 3 weeks.'

'No I'll pass ... I really want a lager.'

'Here comes your own personal weekly beer supply, Joe!'

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

"Vintage? What would you like it to be?"

'A cheeky red?'

"Umm ... not sure what notes you'll detect on your palate, but it'll get you ripped."

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

Mount Olympus Brewery. Those might be dangerous to open. They're Pandora's Bocks.

'My luck, I buy a bottle of wine from 450 B.C. and it's still five years from reaching maturity.'

You got that beer that the monks make, didn't you?

'Eight years old, huh? If it's so good, why didn't somebody drink it eight years ago?'

'If you're having trouble finding what you want, try our other store--'Cabernet Sauvignons Starting with the Letter B'.'

Wine Selection 'Here we are. Our cheapest house wine. Would the gentleman care to smell the twisty cap?'

Wine enthusiast tries to make his way to Cork.

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

'And if you can't find the microbrew you're looking for here, you might want to try our other store: Microbrews C to E.'

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."

'Al, that hopeless romantic, sends me love letters written in wine. I just wish he'd use red instead of white.'

Just the one...

"This cheap can of domestic beer has a bouquet reminiscent of...beer."

true love.

'French hypermarket' ' 5 English or less' till

"My wife commissioned a portrait of me."

kangaroos hopping around in a vat of grapes to make wine for Australian wine company.

'Malty tasking.'

Portfolio, 2011

"Quick swig first?"

'I've written six books on wine; owned my own winery and taught a wine class for two years. My next goal is to taste some.'

'I'm filling in for the sommelier. We have a fine shiraz today for only $39. It's 14.7 alcohol, a Class 1B flammable, so if I see you consume it near an open flame, I'll have to cite you.'

Red Wine